Unknown Tales Of Kai Hiwatari and Friends
by Angel56
Summary: This is just a spoof of the character Kai , I'm going to take him away from the serious beyblader and add a little fun to his life. Includes fun at the abbey, a little bit of angst, and just whatever I feel like adding. Kai might be a tiny bit OOC...
1. Unexpected bump

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of the other characters BUT I do own SUGAR COATED DIDDLY-O'S. Don't look at me like that I couldn't think of anything else….

It was a cloudy boring midday and Kai decided that he'd actually do something for a change. Lounging on the sofa and flicking through channels at 30 milse per hour just didn't seem to be that satisfying. At this point he wondered where the others were.

Rei was in the bathroom washing his hair and taking ages, Tyson was currently lost in Kai's huge mansion, Kenny was doing research (probably looking at porn on the internet) and Max was raiding the cupboards to find the most sugary cereal which just happened to be sugar coated diddly-o's.

With one decisive move Kai heaved himself off the immensely comfy sofa and grabbed his coat to go for a walk.

A breeze lifted his hair and blew his long jacket outwards. It wasn't cold but quite windy so Kai stuck his hands in his pockets to stop his coat from blowing out any more. And regretted coming out. Over and over, as the wind blew, and the gust chilled his face to icicle standards, his regret deepened and his questions increased: why did he get his ass off that amazingly comfortable cushiony sofa? And time and time again the answer was the same, because I had cramp. Phoenixes were warm animals dammit!

Suddenly, the weather decided to spite Kai just that little bit more. It started to snow. As if this weren't enough, Mr. Weather decided that, just to be even more spiteful, Kai would receive a great gust of a gift. A great cold wind of frost and snow blasted into the blunette's back, making him stumble, in a very unKailly manner, into an unexpectant other male, sending them both sprawling to the floor.

"I have to say that's the most ouch I've ever had in over a week." 

"Bren?"

"Kai?"

Upon recognition, they leapt to their feet, forgetting the recent icy floor, and fell back down, in a neat heap, on the very spot they fell on before.

"Correction. That, was the most ouch I've ever had in over a week."

"Oh shut it."

Many people who passed frowned and shook their head at the obsceneness of these two lads. They weren't necessarily against homosexuality, but such public affection was quite a bit too far. Kai caught these looks of distain and judgement, looked and their current position, and blushed. Yes, girls. Kai blushed.

"Well, well, well. I knew you weren't picky about gender but I never thought you'd choose me…"

"UGH! Get off me!"

Shoving his friend Bren away he tried to get to his feet, unsuccessfully.


	2. A Tender Reunion

**Chapter 2****-A Tender Reunion **

Now it wasn't long before Bren and Kai decided they'd had enough of the floor, and enough sense that they would chance standing for a change, and vowed that they would stand at least three feet away from each other, so that people wouldn't get the wrong idea.

So hand in hand, well not quite, three feet away from each other, strolling grumpily towards no planned destination, Kai anyway, Kai and Bren came across a small coffee shop. Agreeing that staying warm in there was better than freezing their tail feathers off out here, they marched inside. Or ran inside.

Little did Kai know that this place is where all the reminiscing will begin, and this little coffee café in the middle of Moscow, is where the nightmare for Kai begins.

* * *

"Sitting at a table in a secluded corner of a warm winter café Brennan Kuznetsov begins his tale. A tale of a two-toned blue haired boy named Kai Hiwatari. In the dead of night K-"

"Shut up Bren and get me an espresso."

"Aw Kai you're no fun no more."

"That's a double negative Ku meaning I am VERY fun still, and don't forget the double shot of cream, and the chocolate flakes Ku."

"DON'T CALL ME KU KAI!"

At this loud exclamation of unsatisfactory nick-naming, just about everybody in the shop stopped what they were doing and stared. Those who weren't analysing every bit of the pair were either deaf, or the staff, who were prone to this sort of behaviour. You can tell that these two come here a lot.

Now this coffee café was called 'the blue peace', originally 'the wild java' but you can see how they needed a change. The manager hoped that if he'd change the name of the shop, the blue-haired boy and his hat-loving companion would essentially miss the café altogether and move on, destroying 'the blue peace' of some other unfortunate café. Unfortunate for him, these boys grew up in cold cold Moscow, and had the training of ten armies, therefore, what he never realised when he changed the name and décor of the café, they would not miss it but the old decoration.

Bren was not a happy bunny. Needless to say he wasn't a bunny at all, however, right this minute; he represented the epitome of grumpy rabbit. In the corner was his ringmaster. Carrot cake on the table and two forks waving about in the air, he tempted the rabbit, making grumpy bunny, turn into hungry bunny.

"Give me the cake Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!"

"No I think I'll keep the cake for my self thank you very much."

"That's not fair; I got you your espresso!"

"Yeah, with a single shot of plain ordinary cream. I wanted a double shot, WITH chocolate flakes. You, my dear furry friend, have come back with none but, espresso and a teeny tiny amount of the cream that I ordered."

"I'm not your slave!"

"One more time I didn't hear you?"

"I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE!"

"No, no of course not. You're my friend. And a terrible terrible friend at that. After everything I've done for you, gotten you through Boris' training, climbed a mountain for you just to get you Mr. Piddles back when we were ten, you can't even get me an espresso, with double cream and chocolate flakes on top, or let me eat my carrot cake in peace. After I gave you my shoulder to lean on every time you needed to cry-"

"What? I-"

"After I carried you on my back for 5 miles towards our distant rest-"

"You're never gonna let that one go are you?"

"After I fed you aaaaaaaaaall week from my savings because you had nowhere to go, because you were such a bad bad bunny that your own darling, adorable and loving sister had no choice but to throw you out-"

"You hated her!"

"Just a double shot of cream and flakes, it wasn't hard. But noooooooooo-"

"I'll get you your cream dammit!"

"Thank you Brenku, you're the best."

And this my friends, is what Kai Hiwatari, the infamous and deadly, scary, oh so stoic and emotionless bastard of a beyblading captain, was doing in snowy snowy Moscow. Ya'll never woulda thought!


	3. The Tales Begin

**Chapter 3****- The Great List **

It wasn't long before the blade-breakers, without their captain, had started to worry where a certain scowling Kai had gone. The merciless snow outside seemed to get thicker and thicker, and though they knew that this was Kai's hometown, they could not help but think that it would still be dangerous just minutes later.

* * *

"So even though we've been such good friends Kai, it seems as if it's been too much too long that we've been apart. Oh heavens! We've been cast away on our separate ways away from each other far far beyond the crevasses of this world, miles and miles apart. I didn't know what I'd do without you! If I hadn't seen you soon I wouldn't have been able to go on!-"

The purposefully over-dramatic Kuznetsov swept the back of his hand over his gleaming forehead and was interrupted with Kai's more sober tone.

"Yeah, okay Bren. I think you've had enough caffeine."

"Heh, well anyway, jokes aside. Where have you been?"

"Have you not been watching the news lately? I just took down Biovolt and Boris' whole organisation and ripped it to shreds."

"Yes I knoooooooow that. But that was at LEAST a year ago, you've disappeared since then, only your team show up now, their captain is gone. What are they called? Backbreakers?" A pause. "Boneshakers?"

"Close. Keep going."

"Beast-daters!"

"Nope."

A moment of thought.

"Boss bakers?"

"Not even close."

"Breast lickers?"

"NO!"

With a hearty laugh Bren assured Kai he was joking with that last one. However, in all his guessing it took him a good twenty minutes to find out what the name of Kai's team really was. And even then, he had help. A cute little girl with a bunny rabbit sporting a woollen hat tucked over its head and a blade-breaker fan shirt pointed Kai out.

Standing in front of Bren and Kai's table she gasped in awe, her face going redder by the second until-

"BLADE-BREAKERS!!!!!!!"

-she began to cry.

About to runaway and leaving a steam of frightened tears Kai foresaw what was about to happen. This included things such as: a good beating for the both of them, a lot of insults not to mention a few possible lost limbs courtesy of the furious mother two tables away.

So being the nice guy that he was he dragged the little girl into a hug. Upon realising that the ever-gorgeous Kai Alexandrei Hiwatari was hugging _her _she immediately stopped her crying and, obviously, hugged him back as if her life depended on it.

"Honestly Ku, I thought you'd grown out of making little children cry."

"I didn't mean it! AND DON'T CALL ME KU!"

As if the gods decided to point at a boy called Brennan Kuznetsov and say 'that's him, let's make his life miserable', the cute little brunette began to cry again. Her fears of the angry bunny; who was eerily comparable to her own stuffed version, heightened. She clutched the flesh and bone of the blunette and the wool and fluff of the bunny tightly: not intending to let go under any circumstances, for angry bunny was still in her view.

It was not until there was a proper introduction free from crying, shouting and angry bunnies did all three of them sit down at the table of Brennan Kuznetsov and Kai Hiwatari.

And so thus the tales began.

* * *

"Grandfather?" A young boy with silver blue hair and sharp crimson eyes looked up at said relative with trust and love. All fake of course.

"Yes soldier?"

"Pwease can I have a teddy bear? A big one."

"No Kai, you may not! A teddy bear is not something a boy like you should have."

'And what does a boy like me usually want?' resounded the bitter thoughts in this young boy's head. Instead he cocked his head adorably to one side in an act of mild confusion and replied "What can I have Grandfather?"

"You may have guns, knives, blades, battle cars, anything that may improve your chances of increasing skill and probability for victory in the coming war."

That night, this little youngster and his hat-loving friend, currently sporting a little red beanie, and was also of the same age, sat on the floor of a rather uncomfortable looking room planning out all of the things they were to ask 'dear old Grandfather' that would be impossible for him to get, expensive, and would most likely make his head explode. However, they had to each be acquired to the categories that his absurd power hungry grandfather had set.

The very next day the plan was put into motion…

* * *

One innocent Sunday morning in the beautiful shining sun, Kai Hiwatari, a six year old boy with baby blue and silver hair, sparkling ruby red eyes, walked out into the bright sunlight towards his grandfather. And began his evil plan.

"Grandfather?"

"Yes Kai?"

"I want a machete. Can I have one, pleeease?"

"Erm, yes, of course Kai."

"YAY!"

"I'm glad to see that you've matured somewhat. What is this machete for exactly?"

"All the better to shoot people with Grandfather. Enemies."

"Ahhhhhhh, I see," with a sly and slimy smile Grandfather Hiwatari set out plans to buy the best machete model there was. Bullets and all.

One innocent Monday morning in the glistening snow of Moscow, Kai Hiwatari, a cute and mischievous little boy walked into the powder magical snow towards his grandfather. And continued his evil plan.

"Grandfather?"

"Yes grandson?"

"I'd like an armour-plated car please. May I please have one?"

Struck by the mature tone in Kai's voice, and the new sense of grammatical essence that was now present in his language, Grandfather Hiwatari responded with a 'yes of course Kai.' Slightly forgetting that Kai was a six year old child, whom would have to wait a good few years before he could drive anything of the sort, he set about making an order for an armour plated Nissan Skyline GTR with a bullet proof body and windows, the newest model available. Gadgets included.

One innocent Tuesday afternoon, in the beautiful glow of the evening sunset, Kai Hiwatari walked along in the orange shadows of the sleeping sun, towards his dear old deceived grandfather.

"That's a really nice boat grandfather." Said Kai while feasting his 'glutinous' eyes on the speedboat.

"Why, thank you very much Kai. It can be yours if you like it that much."

Kai startled at this sudden surprising act of kindness. But was reminded by a memory of Brennan Kuznetsov, one of his closest friends and his hat-loving friend, that they were to be trained at a deserted island during the week, and required to get out alive back to the main lands. They were still waiting for the call.

'This must be to compensate for that. He's going to let Boris put us through hell. And _he_ makes up the plans for training _and_ goes through them all.'

With this mindset that was entirely accurate, the very cunning Kai Hiwatari carried on with his and Bren's evil plan. This was just the right introduction.

"Thank you very much Grandfather. But I like warships, not speedboats. I appreciate it all the same. However I would looooooove to have one of those warships like the Pallada."

Seeing the cogs working in his grandfathers brain, Kai excused himself and went inside, all the while grinning: another success.

One innocent Wednesday morning Kai was woken up bright and early. More so than expected. At six o' clock in the morning Kai Hiwatari was sitting at an iron clad table waiting for the reason to why he'd been so shamelessly woken by the guards.

"Kai, I believe you really wanted a warship."

"Yes grandfather, I really do want one. One like the Pallada Grandfather."

Grinning like a cheshire cat, grandfather Hiwatari led his grandson to the car.

Half an hour later they had arrived at the airport. There they took a quick half an hour flight to Arkhangel'sk, and from the airport there was a ten minute journey to the docking bay.

On the bay, there stood a magnificent warship. She was armour plated with titanium, one of the lightest metals. But with iron she was covered and the cabins were also made of the same material. Her body was entirely grey and silver, and she was streamlined to perfection.

Kai gasped in awe. He'd never thought that his grandfather would actually get him the best. It just proved how much his grandfather wanted Kai to be a warlord.

"This is yours Kai. One day, with me, you will rule the world with it."

* * *

Late at night, when Kai and his grandfather returned to Moscow, Kai showed Bren the pictures of the great warship that was given to him, and told his the words of his grandfather.

Bren and Kai decided they'd stop the great list of things they wanted, considering they couldn't get the items to go any higher in value without people becoming suspicious.

Their own suspicions confirmed, and their fun over, Brennan Kuznetsov and Kai Hiwatari rolled over in their beds and went to sleep. For tomorrow was another day, a new day, for a new prank.


	4. Tale No2

**Chapter 4****- A time to think, a time to reflect, a time to piss off wolves. **

Brennan Innokenti Kuznetsov was bored.

Kai Alexendrei Hiwatari was restless.

Tala Volk Valkov was angry.

He was very VERY angry.

Angry to the point where soon, there would be rolling heads, thunder, lightning, and everything would tremble under his merciless gaze.

Angry, in fact, didn't cut it.

And why was he this way?

Was he missing his wolf bit-beast? Or his blade?

What about the precious hair-gel used to mix with different concoctions in order to make that devilish hairstyle?

Did he get arrested?

Did he get someone else arrested?

No.

No no no no no no NO!

No NONE of these reasons were the reasons for his furiousness. The bottomless pit of all things dead covered with hell's hot spicy burning and death-defying sauce was calling for Tala to find the culprit and flung him or her in.

Turning to the bored hat-wielding bunny, and the restless scarf-cuddling ring-master he pointed to the items they were holding. A spoon in each hand, and a double extra large tub of fluffy green icy goodness, dusted with chocolate drops and garnished with mouth-watering marshmallow minis that radiated freshness and sugar, Kai and Bren both looked up from the comfy couch they sat on.

Tala Volk Valkov, glaring so powerfully that even the two spoons could not hide their holders from, did he point at the tub situated so neatly between them and bellowed,

'GIVE ME MY MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM BACK YOU FIENDS, MAY YOU BE SUCKED FROM THIS WORLD BY THE BELLIES OF HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!'


	5. Tale No3

Tale No

**Disclaimer- Don't own Beyblade blah blah- I DO own Brennan Innokenti Kuznetsov He's MINE ALL MINE! Lol I hope you like him.. please R&R ThankS! **

**Tale No.3 ****– The Mark of Madman… or Woman **

It was a late summer afternoon and Kai, Brennan and Tala were basking in the sun, enjoying their rare time of freedom. Surrounded by the howls of crying children and scampers of parents trying to tame them Brennan had had enough.

"Okay that's it! We get maybe a few days a month of free time and we're sitting here in some damn godforsaken park sweltering, bored, and going completely insane. I have to do something before my brain turns to mush!"

Wearily, Tala opened one frosty eye. Then, as if Bren were a mirage, his thin scarlet eyebrow raised high above his eye at this weirdosity, and said eye then immediately shut once more.

"HEY! KAI! Tell me you're not bored!" Bren yelled in frustration.

"I'm not bored…" came his smart response.

"GAAAAAAHHHH!"

Unable to contain his resentment for the situation he was in; Mr. Kuznetsov abruptly stood and proceeded to stomp off towards some unknown destination.

"We should really go after him you know," offered Tala, eyes remaining solidly shut.

"We should…, you first."

"Oh hell no! I am not dealing with a pissy Brennan during THAT time of the month!"

"_What_?"

With a yelp Tala jumped to the little voice next to his ear. He turned around and the last person he expected to be behind was indeed there. In the spot that Tala was focusing on stood Brennan: more peeved than ever before. Now this time, he resembled a sinking hot air balloon with noticeable holes, which let the steam out most significantly. You could even hear the quiet shhh shhh of the hot steam bursting out.

Unfortunately for Tala, he was about to get _scorned_…

"OH SO I'M A WOMAN NOW AM I?!" Heads have now turned….

"OKAY! IF YOUR SUCH MEN, WHY DON'T _YOU_ SHOW ME HOW MACHO YOU ARE!!"

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…," muttered a sly blunette.

On this 'spirited' declaration, Brennan hoisted the two flummoxed boys off the floor and began to drag them to a very foreboding looking shop. Foreboding, as it contained Kai and Tala's tortuous DOOM!

It was hell. No literally, Kai and Tala were in hell. And the devil was currently standing there with a vice grip on each of their forearms sporting a very eerie looking grin.

His second-in-command was the 'friendly' tattooist, Barney.

Gulp.

For what felt like hours which were in fact only seconds, only the anxious sounds could be heard of a shivering wolf and a now very very cold and freaked out phoenix.

"Now… Brennan, let us think about this is a gentlemanly manner…" If Hiwatari had tried to attempt anything at all to get out of the mess they were in… it was duly noted, filed, stored, and left to grow cobwebs.

Likewise, Tala tried to fish this file out again…

"Bren, you are the manliest male I have ever met… I …,"

"No apologies my friends. For I have accepted that I am the 'woman' in the group!"

'Oh no…he's really mad' was all that passed through the culprits' minds…

"And to mark your manliness I offer to pay for you my friends, to literally mark your manliness! With tattoos!"

Aside to his second-in-command Brennan whispered threateningly, "Make it painful and you shall be rewarded…"

Oh this did not go unnoticed by the two boys. If an onlooker were to peep through the grubby window of the tattoo place, they would undoubtedly see a strange madman wearing a beanie hat with his arms wrapped around two very frightened looking boys flailing insanely hard in order to continue their much-failed escape. Oh yes. Brennan Innokenti Kuznetsov was inhumanly strong when pissed off and anything but 'Innokenti'.

When Kai Hiwatari finally calmed down he had a bubble of thought. Now wait a minute…they'd been through MUCH worse than before, and a tattoo sounded pretty cool, so surely, suuurely it wouldn't be so bad. After all, Brennan _had _implied they could get whatever they wanted…

"Hey Tala?"

"WHAT?!"

"You know, we've been through worse than this…"

"Huh?!"

"You knoooow. At the abbey. So this should be a piece of cake right?"

"Ooooooh…"

"And tattoos would look pretty cool yeah? So we should play along and just ride this out…" whispered Kai.

And so they set their plan.

Little did they realise, that Brennan had already a plan of his own, and a thorough plan it was. It wasn't the pain he had prepared for them, no. It was something much, much worse.

"So… what tattoo should I get Kai? I thought this one looked pretty good. You know, the wolf one? But I thought it was a bit too cliché." Tala noticed a lack of response and slowly turned his head, coming nose to cheek with Kai, whom was peering over his shoulder looking at his choice.

"Ack!"

"Hmm yeah it is cliché… you knoooow… you should get a loveheart."

"Whu?!"

"Yeaaah, a loveheart with words on it… on your butt." Tala's eyes went from golf balls to saucers.

"… and you should have the words say 'property of Kai Hiwatari' mmm hmm."

With a gasp and a big slap on the laughing Kai's head he huffed "NOW WHO'S CLICHÉ?" By now he was comparable to a giant tomato.

"Oh?! So you would get it eh?" This speculation was accented with Kai's wagging eyebrows.

"NO I WOULDN'T!!"

In the midst of this happy banter and beyond the shadows behind the tattoo till counter Brennan Kuznetsov could be found grinning like the madman he was renowned for. "Sooon boys sooooon, we'll see who the women are here. Tee hee hee."

Not long later the boys were ready to take on anything that came their way. However, nothing, and I mean _nothing_ could have prepared them for what they were about to experience next.

Firstly, understandingly so, the boys had to go in individually. Tala was first, and he strolled in led by Barney, through a brown wooden door. In fact, he was quite excited.

He walked in happily as a blast of warm relaxing air washed over him and he opened his eyes to see- DOOM!

The walls were dirty, covered in green and brown, things that could be matched to the colours Tala didn't even want think about. His blue eyes wandered around the stark room and the smell took him aback. A cacophony of sweat, body odour and excrement filled his nostrils stinging them and suffocating him, distorting his ability to breathe.

Smack bang in the middle of the bare room stood one chair. It was a reclining chair, wooden with creaky levers that resembled an old 19th century dentist chair. And thus Tala was reminded of 'the chair'. Shivers involuntarily shot like sparks up his spine and he looked away to the side of the room.

What he saw disturbed him moreso than anything else in that room.

Brennan. Brennan, with a tattoo gun. Brennan with a tattoo gun and a great big smile. Closed, and no teeth, and more insane than he'd ever looked before.

Standing between him and Bren Barney suddenly stepped forward and guided Tala towards the chair. As he was still in deep shock, only when he was seated and being strapped in did he realise the chair had leather straps. Why? He did not know… and before he could question any further, a face peered at him. A face that would haunt him for at least a few months. Brennan's face.

"Don't worry Tala. This won't hurt a bit."

And like a drill the thing, in which he was sure was NOT for tattoos, came edging towards him, as was the face that scared him more.

From outside the room, the lack of sound that reached Kai's ears assured him that Tala was fine. Absolutely fine.

Suddenly the door was thrown open. And something much like a wild fiery beast fought for his life to escape the room.

It shot out of the building like a cat with its tail on fire.

And Kai could only guess, with a face as white as a ghost, that that was his proud friend, Tala Valkov.

Behind him Barney came. Gentle smile on his face and comforting hand to lead him in. 'What a chicken…' Kai thought.

He marched confidently into the room.

He looked.

He froze.

He paled even more.

"Come come little Kai, don't worry, Bren will take good care of you today."

Before Kai even glanced at the chair that resembled death, he was gone. In place of him was the dust that whipped off him as he sped away. And all that could be heard was –

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Ahhh, yes, revenge is sweet."

Shaking hands with Barney, whose real name was Leroy Stokes and was a very respectable man whom had met Bren before, Bren left the tattoo shop in a much happier mood than he'd ever been. Yes, Bren believed this free day was spent rather well, rather well, indeed.


	6. Tale No4

Tale No4

**Tale 4- Who's the fool on April Fools? **

It wasn't much of a bottle… in fact, it wasn't much of a game either, just some whimsical consequence resulted by teenage boredom.

Looking at the plastic excuse for a drinking device Kai reluctantly gave it a spin whilst glaring as deftly as he could at the wide-eyed faces of Tala, Brennan, Ian and Bryan.

'_What_ am I doing?'

Round and round the bottle went, round and round it goes, round and round until it stops, who it chooses no one knows!

'Ugh!'

Not Brennan, not Ian, not Bryan, not Tala, not Brennan, not Ian, not Bryan not-

DAMN!

On that note the bottle decided to choose his red head friend Tala, who was searching from side to side with his eyes and wishing the ground would swallow him whole that second. And why was he feeling so? Well, because it was Bren's turn to pick the dare of course!

"Oh YEAH!"

"Oh noes!" chorused everyone but the bouncing beanie lover.

Just imagine it now… the tortuous things Kuznetsov could do with just one say… oh the endless and infinite possibilities.

You see, earlier that afternoon, Kai and Tala decided to play a few jokes on the unsuspecting Brenku. Afterall, it was APRIL! And since they were unable to prank on April the 1st being out on the mountain training of course, it was today that Tala and Kai would team up and put their monstrous ideas together.

Task 1: Bleach in Bren's shampoo.

Task 2: Grease above his bedroom door.

Task 2 part B: Bren comes screaming out of the bathroom.

Task 3: Dump duck feathers on grease covered Bren.

Task 4: Discreetly plant laxatives in his porridge breakfast.

Task 5: Steal his toilet paper.

Task 6: Leave him on the toilet.

Task 7: Slot toilet paper in 2 hours later juuuust out of reach.

Task 8: Hide his blade.

Task 9: Add hot chilli to his tea.

Task 10: Photocopy his diary.

Task 11: Install gay porn and gay porn website links on his laptop.

Task 12: Steal his clothes.

Task 13: Leave him a bunny suit.

Task 14: Leave his bunny suit with itching powder in it.

Task15: Get it ALL on film.

Task 16: Think of more torture…

Task 17: To be filled with more pranks

Needless to say, this was a success for Tala and Kai, and Bren, ooooh Bren was about to get his revenge.

"RIGHT! TALA AND KAI HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!"

Tala and Kai had seen that gleam before, and it was that insane gleam in Brennan's eyes that made the two think twice about choosing him as their target for next year, and the next, and the next… well you get the point. And thus their regret began.

"I DARE you Kai, to make out with Tala WITH tongue for a full 5 minutes …"

Shock is NOT what you could use to describe what was on the boys' faces right now.

"… aaaand then Kai you have to go through EVERY SINGLE PRANK that you and Tala made me go through, with Tala."

"Oh god what's the forfeit?!" Kai screamed!

"Hmmm, handover the video and lip lock with Tala for 10 minutes…"

"Oh HELL no!!" Tala, horrified already, did not want to kiss Kai more than he already had to.

"Oh yes. If you don't do either one, I'll tell Boris that you were both behind his multicoloured hair dye and mission sabotage…"

"OKAY!"

"WHAT?! Kai, seriously think about this! If you touch me I won't talk to you for a week!"

It was then Kai began to edge closer. Determined, and an eerily predatory look appeared on his face.

"A MONTH!!"

He edged forward…

Tala edged back…

"6 MONTHS!! 6!!"

Closer…

"A FREAKIN YEAR!! I WON'T SPEAK TO YOU FOR A YEAR!!"

And closer…

"I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN! OUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVE-MMMPH!!"

"Aaaaaaand your time starts nooooooow," came Bren's delighted sing song voice. "Bryan…are you getting this?"

"Oh yeah."

And what was Ian doing? Oh he left a loooooooong time ago. The laughter could not be suppressed. And although he tried to come back with a straight face, time and time again did he have to go out. However, it was useless. One could still hear his cackling through the thick steel concrete walls.

"MMMMMMMMMPH! MMMMPH MMPH MMMPH!!"

"SHUT UP!!"

"Mmmmm…mitch!"

* * *

"YOU BASTARD!! YOU BETTER GIVE ME THAT TAPE!!"

"Now now my dear Kai, don't frighten our little visitor... let me carry on with the story."

* * *

So as the two were making out and the dollar signs began to form in Bryan's eyes whilst holding the camera up close and personal, Bren seized this brilliant opportunity to dump a graceful load of grease a top the 'unsuspecting' boys' heads.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Oh you just seemed to be enjoying that too much so I took the liberty. Hey! I just lessened one of your pranks! Heee heee!"

With that said, Bren, out of thin air, conjured 4 sacks of duck feathers, and while cackling like the mad man he is, proceeded to dump the contents of the sacks over the spluttering boys.

"Keep smooching! Your 5 minutes ain't up yet!! MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!"

* * *

"Bren…. I hate you."

"AAAAW NO YOU DON'T ke ke ke"

"Why did you have to pick that one? WHY?!"

And on that note, Kai fell dramatically back onto his chair, and under the immense pressure, the chair broke.


End file.
